My *official* job title is a teacher, but a big aspect of what I do is being an oracle. A common misconception about oracles is that they give an answer. This isn’t true. Oracles ask a question that you can’t let go of until you answer it. There's a big difference between thinking a question, and answering a question.
I believe less in “open sesame” and long Ek Ong Kaar when it comes to opening the portals of the Universe. I believe that in order to open the floodgates and access the divine answers that can expertly guide our steps (you’ll still have to take the steps though, sis) all we need are more powerful questions.
Subconsciously we answer every question we ask all the time. Asking disempowering and toxic questions like “why doesn’t anyone want to buy my art?” or “why can’t I lose weight?”
gives us disempowering answers like “Because your work is shit” or “Because you’re a disgusting pig”.
If we were to switch this up and claim our answers with an empowering question, we’d get an empowering answer that could change the course of our lives!
Nineteen Questions to make 2019 Your Best Business Year, Ever.
1.) Is this urgent, or important?
This question has probably had the largest impact on my quality of life. Urgency feels bad. If it feels bad it’s not coming from Source. Why? Because Source has one mood: love. If it’s not coming from Source it’s coming from ego. If it’s coming from ego, it’s not where you’re meant to be. Also 99% of what’s on your URGENT list might not need to be addressed at all.
When we’re done with a pile of urgent tasks we never feel fulfilled, we just feel like we’ve narrowly escaped disaster... again. However, if we do even one important thing on our list, we feel fulfilled and on top of our shit.
Unless it involves cops or the hospital, nothing is urgent.
2.) Must I fear what others fear?
This question is from the Tao Te Ching (1/3 of the inspiration behind my 365 day guide to erasing linear time for instant manifestations and radically shifting what you see) and was so crucial given my decision to freebirth my son. 99% of people we met were horrified by this decision and wasted no time unloading their Long Island Iced Tea of homebirth neuroses on me. It was hard to maintain my faith, but this question got me through the pregnancy and 46 hour labor. Five out of five stars. Would repeat!
3.)How can I enjoy this?
This question was re: being a Mom. I was spread pretty thin and juggling being a mom with running a very busy business! My guilt about being or not being whatever the working mom archetype du jour was, was making me resentful of my work and my kid. I was trying to do it all and as a result I wasn’t doing anything fully.
Installing super clear work boundaries and super clear me time. These boundaries are constant practice. For real! If P and I neglect these for a week we’re both hissing by the end of it because we both believe the untruth that there’s “not enough time for me”. I had to hire an assistant, but so the fuck what? I’d much rather admit I need some help than be a resentful mom that feels like she’s had to give up her life for her baby. No thank you.
4.) How is this great?
Our well went dry. That’s a 30k repair! How was it great? It lit a fire under my ass and reminded me that I’m not trying to retire! I love my job, if I’m not creating I’m not alive, and I LOVE making more money. Needing to hit 30k in a month put me back in my flow and I felt stronger and more capable than I had ever before.
Obstacles are detours in the right direction, and you’ll see this if you remember to ask.
5.) How can I add 10x more value to this?
I now ask myself this before every launch. You will never wonder about your pricing again if you’ve added such obscene value to it that they would be crazy not to buy it.
6.) What am I not thrilled about?
If you’re not feeling it, drop it. You won’t sell anything from disillusioned energy. This is such a key practice, and there is no “should” list. Keep your dream job dreamy, and if there’s must-do’s you’re sick of doing, hire someone... which brings me to my next question...
7.)Can I afford NOT to do this?
You will not get different results off the same repeated actions. Zone of genius, baby! If you’re still doing all the QuickBooks and the tech support, you’re going to continue to make no progress until you start delegating and automating some of your tasks. I hired an accountant, an assistant, a very part time chef, a speaking coach, a YouTube manager, and did another business course. Of course it’s like “Can I afford to do this?” but that’s not an empowering question at all. Can I afford not to? What’s it going to cost me if I keep putting this off? That’s more like it.
(P.S. I’m blown away at how my a la carte coaching spaces have taken off. I booked out January in like... 3 days. If you’re serious about 2019 being your year then consider booking a session for yourself (yep, you only need one) so that you can LIVE your life as opposed to preparing to live your life... again. $1k and I only have one more January space left)
8.) What am I thrilled about?
DWI - doing while inspired. Don’t ever underestimate what you can achieve when you’re inspired about it! Plus, once you delegate out all that crap you hated doing anyways, you’ll have time to do it! Inspired work shimmers and is very appetizing to potential clients. It’s like Valentino, or Oscar de la Renta. Tired work you’ll end up working at furiously, then deleting, or cringing at down the road if you weren’t able to delete it. It’s like Betsey Johnson. Inspired work looks like joy followed by action! Tired work looks like activity followed by burnout and questioning your work. Plus, when you see your caliber of work when you’re inspired, you discover you’ve been seriously underestimating yourself.
9.)What does success look like to me?
Make sure your goals are YOUR goals. Success is yours today when you prioritize correctly. Something as simple as hitting your phone before hitting your mat can make you feel like an intern instead of an executive. Switching it up can help you really BE it so that you’ll start to see it, because that’s how manifesting works. (If you’re unclear on the rules of a vibration based Universe at all PLEASE give yourself the gift of Spirituality 101 this year and save a decade of trial and error) .
Additionally if you’re living by other people’s standards of success you’ll always feel like you’re failing. You create it! Let’s do better!
10.) Why is it that once I commit, the money’s always there?
This had me stumped for like, a year. I would say “OKAY I’m signing with Gail Larsen and buying a sauna" . I’d visualize myself sending the check etc etc and literally nothing would happen. Finally in November I had it. I asked the next question and started taking action, and boom! 10k in a week and I was signing my contract six days later. What changed? I committed. I said “Fuck the Universe. I’m sick of waiting! I’m making it happen!”
11.) What do I need to do to succeed here?
I dropped the story of not enough time blah blah blah and thought of exactly the clients I wanted. I asked:
12.) How can I serve my ideal client?
I got real! Who would be so FUN for me to work with? How do they show up in the world? I came to the conclusion that I wanted it to be someone I loved to talk to, and that it would feel like catching up with an old friend. I wanted them to be self-aware, responsible, fast learners, and determined to succeed. I wanted them to have an existing plan of action that we could really launch to the next level of success. I wanted them to be determined to drop the “I can’t” story even if they didn’t know how. I wanted them to be experienced with self medicating and therapy and know that they needed better results. I imagined them in need of my areas of expertise and imagined their relief when we blitzed through what they thought was their life long issue in just one session. I saw their tears of joy, our blissful giggles, and their gracious follow up texts.
After I did all that in my head... I turned on my IG live and told my yet-unidentified clients how I planned to serve them. I sold out my year-long coaching spaces in record time. Six days from zero to contracts signed, payments in, and I was signing with my coach that Monday.
13.) Am I cool with this?
Every major change in my life has come from me realizing my schedule has become very predictable and realizing I’m not cool with that. After a month of turning my pet project @thebrujareport into a consistent monthly income vs a one time payment, and being on target to make 8k in monthly revenue from an Instagram by this time next year, I decided it wasn’t serving my highest purpose. I chose to end it with a powerful and tearful farewell broadcast. You can watch it here! I had to answer my next question!
14.) What’s more important to me? Free time or safe money?
Because I’ve gotten so much better at delegating my responsibilities, my time has become incredibly valuable to me. Every hour I spend in my zone of genius expands in all directions. I would have been compromising my limitless potential for the stability of monthly income. Within 24 hours of making this shift, it started paying for itself.
15.) What do I value most?
Historically this has been passion! I’m soooo passionate but as a result I would frequently do things in the heat of the moment, without precision or really seeing if it would scale. As a result I would put my whole heart into a project or person, ratchet it together (no time to waste!), launch it haphazardly and then be devastated when it (of course) didn’t work out. Or my passion to write would have me on my phone first thing in the morning, getting sidetracked in the DMs and then having an unpredictable and usually highly emotional day. Having passion as my number one priority was a pain in the ass! So I asked:
16.) What does the best version of me value most?
I imagined myself in a variety of settings, peaceful and chaotic and imagined how I would most like to respond. When I got a clear picture of her, I asked “What is HER number one value?”
Humility. Humility means there’s always something more to learn from every situation and every person., As a result of this I ask for help, and prioritize learning first thing every morning. No mas cellphone in the morning! It’s books and meditation for me. Like I’ve stated before, this is a constant practice and easy to fall out of. So I made this a rule: I can fall out of my routine for one day, but never fall out for two.
17.) What would I have to believe to be seeing this?
As I get older I take more and more responsibility for my experiences here. The work I laid out in this ten minute video is just as true and real for me as it ever has been, and what’s beautiful is that those were literally my beliefs before and look at my life post switching them up! We can be so resistant to accept that we might not believe what we think we believe. I love this original process because it’s like, “okay bitch I get it. I’m not questioning the purity of your mind... but, if you’re seeing it outside of you it exists inside of you... so let’s just work backwards.”
18.) Why do I think selling is bad?
Oof this was SUCH a big one for me and it all boils down to the judgements I had about other people. I felt like selling things was desperate and as a result I was barely selling anything because I was paranoid that other people judged me as heavily as I judged other people. Dropping those judgements freed me on so many levels. When we’re judging people we’re fantasizing about the worst case scenario being true and it only hurts us. Give yourself five minutes per person you judge to fantasize about the best case scenario being true behind their posts. My mantra became: I am willing to accept the best case scenario.
My sales surged and my paranoia dropped a LOT.
19.) Why do I think God doesn’t want me to make money?
Re: the sales. I used to do what I thought was my best and when the sales wouldn’t work out I’d say “Welp! I guess God didn’t want that to happen.”
God wants what you want! Thee end. If we say “It’s your turn, God” prematurely, chances are we’re not at our absolute best. If you’ve answered YES to the questions: Is this the absolute best I can do? Would adding anything else be overkill? Then and only then do you get to put your hands up and surrender with a “Thank you for bringing me what I need and protecting me from what I think I want.”
The vision pushes until the desire pulls. You do your job up until your best, then hand it over to God.
Sometimes we don’t know that there was better we could do. Like, not knowing about things like launch strategy or something. If you’re an entrepreneur you have got to hit the business books or get a coach, teacher, or mentor to show you the ropes. You’ll save a lot of time, a lot of money, and most importantly , a lot of feeling like no one wants your work (this can make you give up!). Creativity only gets you so far.
BONUS.) My mantra question for 2019! Where is my next 500k coming from?
Thank you, Remington! I’ve made some leaps and bounds towards this goal already just from asking this question multiple times every day. It seemed presumptuous for me to aim this high for next year, as it would be several times more than my record so far, but I’m doing it! Now, if these are your first years in business there’s some lines you need to lay down to make sure you’re open to receiving this income. Diversification, residual income, business savvy, PR and zone of genius are all must-haves. So what’s YOUR meaningful financial goal for next year and how are you going to reach it? Do you need a business? A business course? Coaching? Awareness about what’s blocking you? Ask a better question, get a better answer.
Love you so much and looking forward to killing it with you in this New Year!
I’ve made a commitment to not putting my work on sale next year. I did a lot of big sales this year, but my work is just too good to keep discounting. From today until Christmas you can get 25% off all the digital goods (Entelechies (only available once a year!) , From Scratch, Breaking Broke, Spirituality 101) you saw in this email using the coupon code BETTERQUESTIONS
It’s the absolute last sale until at least 2020, so definitely take advantage of that.
Rainer is teething right now which means: the feeling of your wisdom teeth x30. His gums are inflamed and he’s crabby and uncomfortable, which I get. You can’t get away from pain in your face. Even though he’s only slept through the night once since he was born, he’s having a hard time sleeping now which means I’m not at all. Pre-teething I could give him the booba for anything, but now that sucking is uncomfortable for him - he’ll thrash and scream straight through his usual nap time. If I lose my patience it’ll be the first time I’ve lost my patience with him. For the first time he’ll see that the gigantic humans he completely relies on (and he’s an independent kid, so he doesn’t love being reliant) have bad sides, can get mean, are mad at him. It’s hard to keep your patience on day 120 of the no sleep kriya, with greaseball hair and your uneaten breakfast still on the table well past lunch, but what’s the other option? Making my kid scared of a side of me? Or feeling bad for needing me?
Something I think is really cool about being a mom, albeit tough is: there’s no giving up. There’s no being over it. There’s no “fuck this I’m going to bed for the rest of the day.”. You HAVE to keep going, you HAVE to get your shit together. You HAVE to decide if losing your temper for the first time is worth fucking up your track record.
I learn more about acceptance every day, and how acceptance is signing for the terms of your life with gratitude, not “well fuck it, I guess this is it.” . I thought I had accepted that I probably wouldn’t sleep horizontally again, have both legs shaved at a time, or eat hot food again. I thought I had accepted that it wasn’t about me anymore, but I hadn’t. I was resisting it, and so it persists. When teething causes Rainer to scream bloody murder, and I’m wondering if I should teach him not to scream so he’s not the screaming kid in the supermarket; am I doing this because of what I think people will think of him as a kid, or me as a parent? Is it about me? When I’m trying to get him to get on the booba, is it because I think he needs a second to chill out, or I do? What’s my intention, and have I accepted that it’s not. about. me?
Being a mom oddly makes me feel more than ever that I need a mom. I want sympathy when I haven’t slept, I’m hungry, or my shoulders are tight, but my mom went through this with me, and every mom has at some level done this with their kids. You can get a lot of empathy and a LOT of advice because all moms have been here, but as far someone sympathetically patting you to sleep or feeling bad for you, those days are done. It’s not.about.you. Hard to accept if the last 2 years of your life has been devoted to unconditional self care.
And it’s hard, because you feel so guilty that you’re frustrated, or even pissed. You knew what you were getting into, nothings “broken” , it just sucks sometimes and you don’t want any more advice. You just want to throw a fit too and have someone soothe you!
But this is the medicine. Because you’re here to learn you won’t manifest a good nights sleep no matter how hard you pray (believe me, I’ve tried), this is just what being a mom is. It’s the medicine for this journey. You learn things from not losing your shit, even if you feel like you’re spontaneously combusting.
If I’m not taking care of me, who will? Who will rub my back? Who will comfort me when I’m cranky? Who will make sure that I’m okay?
It’s fears like these that keep me from letting go and letting my Divine Mother catch me. Last night I agreed to let go, to truly accept it’s not about me. I vented to Patrick and asked him to please not try to “fix” it. I prayed to Divine Feminine and I honored all my pissed off, pent up, frustrated feelings - and I felt lighter. As I went to sleep in a way guaranteed to make my one hand fall asleep and my neck wake up stiff, I imagined myself like I usually do, being held by Yemaya. Only this time I surrendered. I let myself fall. I agreed to focus 110% on my baby and trust that Divine Feminine would feed me, rest me, and give me patience.
I’m not sure if anything’s changed, Rainer’s still teething, I’m still tired, and the dishes are still in the sink - but I ate breakfast hot today, and it was magnificent. Somehow everywhere I was feeling frustration, I now feel more love, more empathy. It extends past me and my little life, all moms, all kids - the Universal self. I thought I was loving my max but now there’s so many more pockets to fill, and I have plenty more where that came from.
On the other side of your limit is more love. If you feel like you’re being stretched beyond your limits, let it break you. Give up. Let go. Get honest. You’re infinitely held, but you’ll only know so if you let go of your need to change it.
I've never been shy about talking about my history with an eating disorder...Bulimia, to be specific. Ten long years, and clean since 2010. I hate it when people don't give you the dirty details ;) I was definitely trying to be an anorexic but it never took. Why? Because I felt empty inside. When you feel empty the most primal way to try to fill the emptiness is with food because that's where we feel emptiness physically. Understanding the difference between feeling empty (of _____ ?) and being hungry is a huge step to make in analyzing your patterns around food.
So in 2010 I was able to get myself to stop barfing up my food by:
a.) doing my best to win the tearful argument about "will I hold this food down or not?" after every single thing I ate ever for a few months. Many tears! Not to mention physical pain from turning my digestive system back on after a decade of abuse. Acid reflux, heartburn, constipation - all of it.
b.) not letting one slip-up derail all my progress. I would fuck up sometimes, of course, but I would do my best again the next day. This is croosh, fam. AA says relapse is a part of recovery, but also you have to start the recovery count back at 0 when you relapse? Hellooooo contradiction alert!
Yoga also came into the picture around there, with a year studying Integrative Nutrition right after that. I had developed a diet for myself that was clean AF. 99% vegan, gluten and grain free for the most part. One hour and thirty minutes of yoga every single day no matter what. The thing was, I was obsessed with my diet. I didn't like to go out to eat, except maybe Whole Foods. If I did go out for dinner, I would really repent the next day. I would run twice as long and juice all day to make up for my dietary adultery. From the outside I was a juice-sipping yogi vegan who loved herself - but on the inside I was punishing myself. Also, you can binge on kale just like you can binge on pizza. I still felt empty so I had to set my diet up in a way that I could eat all day without gaining weight. Kind of like how the real OG alcoholics just drink light beer. Why? Because liquor will knock you out. If you get knocked out, you can't drink all day. Better to pick something you can sip on all day long.
Let's speed things up a bit. 2015 my shit hits the fan, I start traveling at a lethal rate (filling the emptiness with chronic urgent action) and my precious diet and yoga goes right out the window. I'm sad and lonely. Sadness is expressed in the body as weight, btw. If you have stubborn weight, if you ask yourself "What am I sad about?" you'll be on the expedited path to releasing the weight, and if you learn to grieve, the sadness. Don't forget, there's a difference between thinking a question, and answering a question.
I assume that the weight won't budge because I'm not dieting and working out. I'm eating whatever I can, and exercising whenever I can - and it's a lot less frequently than working out perfectly every single day and eating perfectly every single day.
It's so easy to love yourself when you're doing everything perfectly.
I finally get a house in 2017, immediately go for a cleanse. Nothing happens. Weight won't budge. Five days on juice (fasting is v difficult for Pitta me) - and I gain weight. I'm doing yoga, I'm riding my bike, I'm swimming, I'm doing all the things I learned in nutrition school. Weight won't budge. This whole time I have a friend with me who can eat five types of deep fried and double wide per day and not gain a pound. I'm seething.
I start to get frustrated. Food is taking up some major mental real estate for me at this point. It's all about what am I going to eat, and how am I going to burn it off. I'm resisting sugar, gluten, meat and dairy which means it's persisting like crazy. I'm shame spiraling any time I give in to the cravings. I'm 25 full pounds over my usual weight and it ain't moving anywhere.
When I answered the question: What would my life look like if I loved my food and my food loved me? (this is your homework this week, btw) - I imagined being able to eat like a French woman. Appreciating everything. I imagined being able to pick whatever I wanted to eat off a menu. Not what I could live with nutritionally, not what was the cheapest - but truly pick whatever I wanted. I imagined feeling vital, energetic, and most of all - totally chill around food. There would be no food I ate that I felt bad about, no food that I would go for one bite of and all of the sudden the fog rolls in and I find myself at the end of a massive binge, standing in my underwear in front of the fridge.
I knew that could be a reality for me, I had the faith. I was just missing one piece of information that could help me fuse my dream to conscious action - and see results.
That piece of information is so powerful it gets its own broadcast to make sure you are able to integrate it now-now. It's true hunger, and it's what we'll be talking about in tomorrow's LIVE on @thebrujareport (11:11AM , MST) . It will be recorded and archived if you miss it, but if you attend live you can ask questions :)
Not only does it work to make that dream of freedom around food a reality, but you'll be so impressed with the intelligence of your own body that you'll have a hard time hating on yourself. win/win.
Looking forward to seeing you there! In the meantime - do your homework. Like I said, there's a difference between answering a question and thinking a question. Let's help you actualize your dream.
Know someone that needs to read this? This is a Bruja Report you have permission to pass on. Using what you've learned here with your clients? Credit your teacher. It will save you a lot of insecurity around being unoriginal in the long run. :) I thank my teachers Gabby Bernstein, Geneen Roth, the pantheon at Integrative Nutrition, and my friend @shhrawr_17 who put me onto true hunger, to help me end my battle with food.
You might think you work clearly under pressure, but I'm telling you right now - you don't.
You can't think clearly under pressure. When you're forcing yourself to churn out content under unreasonable deadlines because you believe that working harder = more money (not true), you can't think clearly. You can't do your great work when you're not thinking clearly.
Sure, life can (and most likely will) put you in some kind of dire strait that will require you to take action with what you have now and where you are now - but you won't get consistent results from grinding. And why grind in the first place? Because you think there's not enough time/money/you gotta do it all yourself? Is that thought based in fear, or faith?
It's the hardest thing to do, but you have to chill yourself out before you attempt to get your great work done. Your greatest work, your big money ideas arrive via INSPIRATION. And this inspiration is only going to arrive from two directions.
If you make it your purpose to get to and stay in one or both of those places, your personal eureka will arrive, when you're least expecting it. The steps will arrive one at a time, in the same way, right when you need it. It will not feel rushed. It will not feel chaotic. It will not ever ask you to compromise your well being for the sake of The Cause. This means you don't have ever have to hold your pee in for an hour because you just want to finish typing this one last sentence. It doesn't mean you have to stay up well past your bedtime or skip a meal when you're hungry or a stretch when you're achey.
If you can really practice this like I was forced to (thanks to a potent combination of being on the road and a BIG baby in the belly) it'll change the way you work forever. Once you know what it's like to work inspired, you won't want to work any other way. Why spend days toiling when you could go enjoy yourself like you have all the time in the cosmos (you do), and crank the whole thing out in an INSPIRED hour? Working like this bliss! But choosing to stop punishing yourself at the grind and getting yourself in the flow of inspiration can be easier preached than practiced. Trust me.
In business you will take every damn step by yourself, but Spirit can save you time by showing you the way. In order for Spirit to show you the way, you have to ask to be shown and be open to listening. If you're happy (in Joy) then you can rest assured you're on the right path. If you're peaceful you can rest assured that you're in the space of listening.
The other option would be frantically throwing shit to the wall in a furnace of anxiety until you finally melt down, throw in the towel, and force yourself to take a walk cause it's the only thing that will clear your head. On that walk you get the epiphany you needed because you followed your joy and walked out the door, not because you pushed yourself into meltdown mode. The grind was, is, and always will be totally unnecessary. I'm proof that this works - even and especially when it comes to big things, like buying a house.
Repeat after me (and repost if you're feeling it) : Rest ethic is the new work ethic.
If you put the project down when you're not feeling it, and go do what makes you either feel very peaceful, or very joyful - no matter what that is - GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO GO DO IT! Make your self care, play, and rest ethic the main aspect of your job and watch how you defy limitations and are able to produce a supernatural caliber of work by working for a short time, inspired.
Make a list of all the activities you like to do that feel like play, that make you feel joyful. Make sure to list some longer ones e.g. a long walk outside, and some shorter ones e.g. a long walk to the refrigerator for a special snack (pregnancy realness).
Do the same, with all the activities that make you feel peaceful.
Use this as your personal lifeline. Any time you're not feeling it, hit up some of these activities -and see what happens.
Contemplate this 2500 statement by Patanjali , and understand that if you want these powers you have to get inspired, and inspiration comes from 1.) Peace and 2.) Joy.
“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
Fellow bruja Ariel introduced me to true hunger in July '17 and it has been the only bit of nutritional advice I have ever needed, ever. That's big, coming from a IIN grad. Cravings are the best notification system your body has. Respect your cravings, don't fear them - and see what happens. Love you!
Here we are at the end of another year.2017 was my most productive year ever. I launched three workshops, wrote a book, met the man of my dreams (and got pregnant!), sent a proposal to a publisher, stopped taking one on one clients (Hello, passive income!), and really stepped into my own as a teacher.
If you follow me on @thebrujareport , you know that I live my life inside out. Meaning, I don't expect anything to change outside unless I've changed something inside. Here are the 17 inner shifts I made, that made 2017 my most productive year - ever.
Danielle LaPorte never ceases to amaze me, she made a list like this which inspired mine, and I suggest you check it out here!
1.) Dropped the guilt around my creative process.
Try being creative while simultaneously judging yourself for HOW you stay creative. I spent years, especially 2016 berating my creative process. "I'm unfocused.", "I leave things to the last minute." ,"I get distracted" ,"People can't handle my work mode, they call me crazy" (P.S. Drop them.). When I stopped trying to "fix" my process, and just LET IT BE MY PROCESS - the results were epic. Your feelings are your choice, and the only person who can make you feel guilty - is you. Eradicate guilt everywhere you can, but start with your creativity, especially if you want to make money on it.
2.) Grief Recovery Method.
I spent my last dollars (literally), moving to Keller, Texas in January to do Grief Recovery with this woman. Bad news: She doesn't do Skype, very few certified Grief Recovery facilitators do. Good News: They all do the same method, for the same price. $495 for seven weeks, and as low as $10 a session if you get in a group. You can find one near you through the official site.
When I stopped avoiding my sadness and learned how to grieve, my whole life changed. You can also read the book.
3.) Took Saturdays off.
Overworking is FEAR (connected to the "hard work = money" belief system). If you can't take a day off because you're afraid nothing will get done if you're not grinding your face off - you're going to have to address it. Leave your phone at home and immerse yourself in something unrelated to your job. This might take practice. Rest ethic is the new work ethic. You can wait for a catalyst, or take conscious time off in 2018.
4.) Addressed the things I said I'd do, and never did.
Want self-esteem? Do esteemable things. The far-reaching benefits of this practice are too good to miss. It is one of the most potent tools for freeing yourself from shame. Peep a one minute video from the archives on this here.
5.) Felt the fear, and did it anyways.
Launching my first workshop scared me shitless. Launching my second did too. Dropping one-on-one clients (my bread and buttah) terrified me, as did buying my first truck (and a camper!) and hitting the road. I was scared shitless about dropping a proposal off at my publisher, doing my first exorcism, and signing a lease on my first house alone (for 2k a month). All of these things scared me, but I did them anyways. At the end of the day there's only two thought sources, fear and faith. Go beyond fear.
6.) Stopped manifesting, started praying.
You have to know how to manifest (Spirituality 101) in order to develop the trust needed to stop manifesting (Spirituality 2.0) I was getting everything I was manifesting, and when it would show up - it wouldn't make me happy. Giving up manifesting means relinquishing control and trusting that whatever is in control - loves you and wants you to be happy. I changed my prayers from what I thought I wanted to praying that the outcome would be of the highest service to all concerned. I allowed the Universe to surprise me, trusting that it knew what I liked. On @thebrujareport I talk a lot about praying to Divine Feminine - aka bitching to God. The results...wow.
7.) Created passive income in my business.
Passive income is the exact opposite of "hard work = money". It is a MINDSET. If you did my *passive income* money course Breaking Broke you learn all about the deep roots of this belief, and also the three-step manifesting process. Expect to power through all your doubts about working hard for money. Expect to constantly evaluate where you're losing time. Expect to veer far outside of your comfort zone and push people out of theirs. It might take a minute - but it WILL work.
8.) Got real about my time.
How much time am I actually on Instagram waiting to be "ready" for meditation? How much time am I spending answering DM's?How much time am I spending taking free calls from non-friends? How much time am I actually taking calls from friends who are fairly comfortable in perpetual crisis mode? How much time am I spending worrying about the well-being of my family? How much time and money can I save myself and my clients by converting as much $$ conversation into digital lectures as possible? My time is my currency, and my ass was broke! Hello airplane mode! Remember the only person who can make you feel guilty (about missing their call) is you.
9.) Upped my food budget.
If regular kale is $1.99 and organic is $2.50, and you can't validate getting the better option (even though it's the fuel that powers the most important thing in your life - you!) - then you aren't worth fifty cents to yourself. I know what it's like to be broke - way broke. But I also know you can eat good quality beans, good quality rice, and good quality greens for under $30 a week. Use the mantra: "there's plenty more where that came from" every time you buy anything. The Universe wants you fed well. You're not a snob for wanting food thats grown in a way that's good for the environment, the grower, the eater, and the operation it's sold under. Only person saying there's not enough, is you.
10.) Accepted my body as is.
I dropped all diets (big deal for an Integrative Nutrition alum) and demonizing foods like gluten and sugar. I let the philosophy of "whatever I resist, will persist.". I applied my research of true hunger, prayed for Spirit to help me free up some mental bandwidth where all the food strategizing used to be, and gave my body permission to go to it's unedited version. Best move ever. What I learned became the basis of my video "How to love yourself when you hate yourself".
11.) Trimmed my social circle way down.
If you love me, don't try to change me. If I love you, I won't try to change you. I assessed all the relationships I felt would be better if one fundamental thing was different, and dropped them (potential is not love). Then I took stock of the relationships where I got shit for being exactly the way I was. Being a solution-based thinker means if you want someone to "vent" to with no intention of strategizing a solution in that same conversation - don't call me. I've been called insensitive, selfish, weird, and a host of other things for my refusal to tolerate negativity in my circle. As spiritual people we can stay in abusive situations way too long because we see our proficiency at recovering from shit flung at us as a learning experience. You can learn from any abuse, my dear, or you could just surround yourself with people you like and that like you AS IS.
12.) Gave up on worrying if it would all work out.
Even if you're uncomfortable now, you know that in hindsight you'll see that you're happy it went down the way that it did because it taught you X and brought you to where you needed to be. Did you know you can just cut straight to that mindset? Try it.
13.) Had gratitude for where I was.
When your 100k followers show up, you'll deal with pissing off 5k people as opposed to 5. When dream bae shows up, and he/she will, half your closet, half your time, and half (okay 3/4) of your epic masturbation sessions will go with it. New level, new devil. Enjoy where you are. You always have exactly what you need to do what you need right now. If I had all the clients I manifested I would be 5 months pregnant and up to my eyes in open contracts. If I had had 10k in February I would be chasing the wrong guy halfway through Europe instead of being in the path of the right one. You're exactly where you're meant to be.
14.) Asked "Am I doing this for approval?" before I did anything.
15.) Broke up with my teachers, and trusted my own work.
Bye-bye weird-ass and demanding kundalini practice. See you later, Chani Nicholas. Adios, 7-year Tarot teacher. I stopped inputting and started integrating. I meditated, a LOT. The result? An education that would define my career in 2017, and open me up to the abundance, love, and vitality that had been waiting for me all along.
16.) Narrowed my skin care products down to one.
Coconut oil. On my face, in my hair, on my body. The only person who benefitted from this more than me was my mom, who got a barrel of Kiehl's.
17.) Told a bae to fuck off, and the right one was just a moment away.
If he ain't calling you, drop him. If he has a list of reasons as to why he can't be with you, drop him. If he says he's not available, drop him. Out there there is someone who will live to make you happy, and as long as you're happy with mediocrity he can't show up. Like Cardi B said: Indecision is a decision. Accept it for what it is, and leave.
This is a meditation to help you find your Spirit Animal! Spirit Animals are cool because they show you a side of yourself you may not know so well yet. Take it with a grain of salt, and pass no judgement.
My Spirit Animal is a Kodiak bear, and I was pretty bummed at first. All I knew about bears (and this was pre-Revenant) was that they were big, scary, killing machines, and at the time I was on that super strict vegan, yoga every damn day, lifestyle. I was horrified!
I didn't want a bear. I wanted a snow owl, or a white horse, or something like that.
With time, I've come to realize that my Spirit Animal represented a new strength I didn't know I had, and that shit has saved my life. So go get your animal, do some research, and enjoy!
This was taught to me by one of my meditation teachers, David Harshada Wagner. I recommend him to all my clients who are in need of a meditation teacher who is a little less chanting and a little more Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He has classes on yogaglo.com, an excellent resource if you don't have much time or $$, and want to get deeper into your practice.